Skip to main content

Day 53 - Thursday 7th May 2020

Location: London, UK

COVID-19 / Coronavirus Outbreak


Lockdown

A short & silly play, written to a rule, in 26 lines


Brian: Actually Graham, I think you’ll find I was here first
Graham: Brian, c’mon man, I’ve never seen one in real life
Brian: Can’t see why that’s my problem.  You should have got up earlier
Graham: Don’t start with that again
Brian: Exactly a year ago I think it was…
Graham: For fuck’s sake…
Brian: Got up, drove to you, waited for 45 minutes until you finally appeared
Graham: Here we go…
Brian: I had coffee, warm toasted bagels-
Graham: Just trying to make me feel worse aren’t you?
Brian: Kronuts, those half doughnut half croissant things
Graham: Look I said I was sorry
Brian: Maybe I don’t believe you
Graham: No?  Why?
Brian: Oh I don’t know, because when we finally got there you told everyone I drove slowly and that's why we were late and missed it
Graham: Pretty sure I didn’t know you knew that…
Brian: Queueing for hours with all the non-hardcore birders to try to get a peak-
Graham: -Really explains why you’re still angry-
Brian: So this time, I wasn’t taking any chances. No lift for you.
There is a short silence
Graham: Tricia picked me up
Brian: Unbelievable!  You got my ex-wife to give you a lift?
Graham: Verity didn’t want to get up that early
Brian: Where is Tricia?  Is she here?
Graham: Xeonophobe that she is… no, she didn’t want the risk of "touching a foreigner"
Brian: ...Yes – she is quite racist.  Partly why we got divorced.
Graham: ZAPATA WREN!!! I can see it!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Day 150 - Wednesday 12th August 20200

  Location: London, UK  COVID-19 / Coronavirus Outbreak Certain people have always been a bit disgusting in the way in which they treat their surrounding. The number of surgical masks I see lying on the street every day is quite revolting.  Not only is it an act of pure sloth to just throw it on the floor without a care in the world for your environment, but surely in times when we are being asked repeatedly to wash our hands and use hand sanitiser it's an almost an act of aggression to disgard something potentially infectious in such a disdainful way? A plea therefore - please throw your salived filled masks in the bin, not on the floor.  Astonishing to have to ask really!

Day 90 - Saturday 13th June 2020

Location: London, UK COVID-19 / Coronavirus Outbreak Lockdown On this date last year I was at Wembley Stadium seeing The Spice Girls. And it was genuinely one of the best nights of my life.  I didn't get to see them when I was younger as a five-some but seeing Baby, Scary, Ginger and Sporty live on stage was fantastic. It's hard to explain why exactly but essentially The Spice Girls were an integral soundtrack to my formative teenage years. I love a good bit of pop music and the queens of GIRL POWER had hit after hit after hit.  And the thing is, they are great songs! I promise you - request Wannabe at a wedding or somewhere where they play live music (I requested it at Piano Works Bar to actual cheers I tell you) and it will go down a storm. # V i v a F o r e v e r

Day 139 - Saturday 1st August 2020

Location: London, UK  COVID-19 / Coronavirus Outbreak Lockdown My church opened a while ago, initially for an hour a day, so that parishioners could visit and pray. Then about a month ago, it opened for daily masses but with social distancing in place.  Track and trace is done at the door, masks are worn and instead of holy water by the door we have... holy hand gel? It's all a bit strange to say the least and I doubt the church has ever been cleaner, but I think it's good that places of worship are able to open.  They are necessary to so many as a place for quiet and time for reflection, as well as operating as the centres of community, of which they are for so many people.